I was supposed to meet a guy to watch a baseball game on Saturday afternoon but it didn't happen. And I'm okay with it for two reasons: 1) I had speed dating last week so I met my weekly quota; and 2) He kind of creeped me out. (Insert rewinding noises to accompany the text "12 days ago".)
I met this dude on an online dating site. He seemed great. We had a lot in common -- both have dogs, huge baseball fans, similar professions. He was really funny and charming. He was cute. I kind of liked him. I looked forward to his emails. We "friended" eachother on Facebook. Then I realized I had never met him! I was getting excited to "talk" (read: email) to a guy I had never even seen. We had made a date to watch a game but it was still more than a week away and I wanted to meet him in person. I was finally excited. Yay! So then I did this thing that I do when I like someone -- I read all of our past communications. And then I grew concerned. I realized we had written each other 35 emails in three days. That's crazy, right? Right.
I emailed him and said that I thought we should meet up soon because we had emailed so many times. I was afraid we were falling down a virtual rabbit hole where you think you know someone, develop an online relationship and realize you've been communicating with an 89 year old dude with a shrunken Beatlejuice head who hadn't seen daylight since the Nixon administration. So I told him I thought we should meet and asked if we could get together for a quick drink the following night (last Saturday). He replied and asked what I was looking for in a relationship. You may remember my response from "I probably broke every dating rule".
Me:
I can tell you what I don't want. I am not looking for someone that has a girlfriend or a wife or wants something sexually casual. Becoming friends, hanging out and getting to know someone better slowly is one thing and I'd be interested in that. Casual sex partners isn't something I'm into. I'm not saying you are, but I thought I'd throw it out there in case that was a question.
Him:
That is exactly what I want. Exactly. Only I want someone I can't live without.
Kind of awesome. Cute? Yes. Relieved? Yes. Small red light regarding co-dependency issues? Yes. But still I hadn't scared him away so, kind of awesome. I write back and say awesome and ask about the drink the following day. At this point it is 4:45p on Friday afternoon. We had emailed many times that day. I left work at 6:00p and still hadn't heard back. Weird. I went out (had plans with a friend) and didn't check my email until the following morning.
Him at 10:45p:
What are you doing tonight?
Him at 10:55p:
Here is my number - 123-456-7890 (not his number). Call or text me.
I have a standing workout appointment at 8:30a every Saturday morning. I got up and saw that he had emailed me twice the night before so I write back.
Me at 8:01a:
Sorry for not getting back to you sooner. I was out at a friend's house. She was showing me pics from her trip abroad. Are you free tonight for a drink? Let me know. Here's my number - 123-456-7890 (not my number either).
Him at 8:04a:
I guess you're not interested anymore.
Him via text (first text) at 8:10a:
You're so beautiful.
This is where I start to get weirded out. Really? Dude, I just gave you my number and asked if you wanted to get a drink that day. What part of that says I'm not interested? And then the text. Kind of creepy since we've never met in person but benefit of the doubt - very nice. Thank you.
So I go workout. I was really late because I stopped to email him and, to be honest, I was totally late all on my own. So I didn't write back until I finished the workout.
Me via text at 10:15a:
Thank you.
Him via text at 10:25a:
You're still alive!!!
Um, what? Creepy? Yes! Seriously? I hadn't written back in two hours before 10a. I could have been up to pee, get a glass of water or walk the dog and gone back to bed. Stores aren't open before 10a. I have some friendships that have been threatened if I text before 10a. This is getting weird, right?
Me via text at 10:45a:
Haha. Yes, I was working out.
Him via text at 11a:
Training for the olympics?
Me via text at 10:15a:
No, just practice.
Then nothing. Then I start to get even more weirded out. Plus it's hot. Really hot. This summer sucks. Then I realize how much I do not want to get ready in the heat two hours earlier than necessary (I had a friend's birthday party to attend) for a dude that was creeping me out.
Me via text at 2:30p:
Hey there. Haven't heard from you about tonight so I'm guessing you're going to the show and you're busy. But I'll see you for the game next week. Have a great night.
I may have sabotaged this. I admit that. But I was creeped out. And hot. And tired. And kind of wanted to sit on my couch and drink a cocktail and not get ready to go out. Plus I had just gone out with the rat guy two days earlier. So I was okay with it. The "You're still alive" text gave me the ick.
Then Saturday came and went and I never heard from him. So I unfriended him on Facebook today and consider that chapter closed.
New rule: No more than five communications with someone before meeting them in person.
