Sunday, August 15, 2010

Entertaining but Weird

I met up with Edward Jacob this morning for a coffee and farmer's market date. He was the first guy I've been excited to go out with since my breakup. I was on time and stoked. He was early. Things were looking up. I met Ed Jake on the online dating site (before I deleted my profile) and he promised me a great cup of coffee. I was not disappointed. The joe was delicious. The conversation was... interesting.

Ed Jake was entirely entertaining, so much so it bordered on absurdly weird. There were no awkward silences. Quite the contrary, Ed Jake was a chatty mother-freaking cathy. A government employee who once worked at a mental institution and one talkative dude. All in all we talked for over an hour and a half but I know very little about him. That being said, I did learn that if he eats too much red meat he can't handle the increased bile in his stomach. (Oh yes, he shared that tasty tidbit.) I also learned, in case you didn't know, that Pennsylvania is much nicer than Transylvania.

But nothing was more fun to learn than the idea that the Red Cross doesn't actually need the blood they collect for transfusions. They really collect it all to sell it to vampires. And did you know that the Red Cross only asks you all of those questions about your blood and blood type so they can place a value on it? Oh yes, apparently AB positive fetches a much higher price from the vampires than say... O negative. WTF. I'm not even exaggerating. He actually said all of this stuff. I know he was just doing a "bit" but, damn, it was weird. Entertaining but weird.

After an hour and a half of coffee and a tour around the farmer's market he asked if I wanted to go to a museum. I told him I had to get going. I know Papa Churn said that we should be shooting for a second date but I'm not sure I want to go out with a guy who said, "Can I say something rude? I wouldn't f*ck her with a borrowed d*ck" in reference to a girl he met at a party the night before. Again - I'm not making this stuff up. He actually said that to me. He was entertaining but weird and I'd be okay if we stopped at one date.

For the record: I bought my own coffee. And a refill.