I went out with a dude I met on Craigslist this past weekend. (The date I had to postpone due to the hangover.) I think I'll call him the stepdad because he is a former stepfather. He is a smart dude, a government employee and former math professor. He didn't talk about vampires or have excess nose hair so the date was already more promising than the others.
Stepdad was really nice. The conversation was only mildly awkward. I don't think we had very much in common but he was impressed that I didn't diss math when he told me he used to teach the subject. It must suck to tell people what you do and have them wince in pain from the memory of past math tests.
I showed up to the date 12 minutes late but I let him know I would be late. He was early. I was awkward. I got a Bell's. It was delicious. He got a booth. Let me clarify, it was a mini booth. I felt even more awkward while I tried to squeeze my fat ass in a mini booth. But the nice thing was - I didn't have to sit and stare at him because it was more comfortable to sit sideways.
We talked about walking. He likes to walk. (This is the second date this month where the conversation was about walking, is that weird?) He just moved here. I keep going out with dudes who are new to the area. New revelation - I want a dude who has at least some roots here. Someone who has been in the area for a few years so he knows which bars, restaurants, parks he likes and has a group of friends. I don't want to play cruise director.
Stepdad has a former stepdaughter (he was recently divorced) who is starting college this year. That means she is likely 18 years old. I'm not sure I want to be with someone who is old enough to have a stepdaughter in college. I think I am in the minority on this but age is important to me. My first serious relationship was with a 32 year old dude when I was 24. I learned the hard way that eight years when you're in your early 20s is too much of an age difference. There tends to be a power differential when the age difference is that great. And I'm not sure I want to be with a man who isn't interested in being with a woman his own age.
I'm 31 years old and I'm getting pickier. I suppose that means that I am narrowing in on what I want in a partner. Surely that it is going to make it harder to find someone. Being in my 30s the pond is smaller as it is. I'm not sure I should be making it any shallower. But experience has taught me that just getting along isn't enough to build a life together. And I want a partner to build a life with, dammit.
Okay, back to the date. We were there for over 90 minutes and I told him I had to walk my dog. It was only partially an out - I really did have to walk my dog but I wanted to jet. He was super nice. But it wasn't a match. As we were leaving I saw a friend at the bar and I purposely ignored him and didn't make eye contact - I didn't want to introduce the stepdad.
We went outside and I told him that I had had a nice time. The goodbye was THE MOST AWKWARD GOODBYE IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD. It was a handshake that was almost a hug, then almost a kiss on the cheek, then almost a hug, then kind of a weird handshake/fistbump. It was awful. If I were watching I would have laughed out loud. New challenge: work on being a normal human being. Shit, I was so awkward.
I walked across the street and waited for him to turn the corner, then I retraced my steps, went back in to the bar and said, "hi" and "bye" to my friend. Then I went home and walked my dog.
All in all it was a pleasant date. Probably tied with the rat guy as the best date I've had in churning 2010. I would go out with him if he asked again though I don't think he will. He texted me later that night and said he had a good time but he guessed the dog was an out. Oops. I am the world's worst faker.
For the record: I paid for my beer.