and we shall call him cato...

so was sort of dating this kid. we shall call him cato because we have inside jokes about the cato institute since their building is literally between our two apt complexes.

anywho, cato and i went out for maybe a month and a half. like 6 dates or so. things were going really well, but after a while i realized i was usually the one initiating everything.

and the conversations are good. he's witty. he's fun. but there wasnt an incredible spark. altho he is a really good kisser and fun to roll around with. but that's getting a lil too far in to this.

so yeah. i sorta let things die after many a talk with betti about this kid. decided i didnt think he wasnt interested in me, i just thought he wasnt interested in a relationship. which kinda makes me sad. cause i did genuinely like him and he's pretty much perfect for me on paper too. dont judge.

so anywho. we still gchat. we still facebook. so today, here's our gchat convo:

me: so...

(begin slighltly awkward convo)

cato: lol

me: clearly dating didn’t work out, but I did have fun hanging out, and you are kinda witty…so we should hang out again soon

cato: are you going to Raw tonight?

me: yeah...im gonna go with (mutual friend), we're gonna have dinner and i can hear about his great travels, ill become jealous, and then get a drink to woe my sorrows and dance with hipsters

cato: oh (mutual friend)

god we know the same people

me: well

we are both gay

and living in the same city

it happens

cato: ha, truth

well let's make sure to chat at Raw tonight and yes, I'd be up for hanging out

(I'm kind of weird about dating)

me: okies...ill make sure to avoid you for 30 minutes then accidentally bump in to you and be awkward

cato: lol

I'm awesome at being awkward though

this is what i hate about dating.

thought i was over him. had finally let it lie. but figured, hey, i should be grown up and be friends with him. he's fun. we live a few blocks away from each other. lets all be adults.

then he's like, im weird about dating we should definitely chat. now im all, what if does want to date? what if he just doesnt know if he can commit? blah blah blah CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY. literally. what. the. fuck. why cant i just date and take things like they come? why do i have to try and read in to things and get excited over the most minute possibilities?

i wish i could just go on dates, be happy they are fun, or have a good story if it goes bad, and go from there. why do i have to put soooo much behind every interaction? i dont do this with my friends. i barely even read in to anything with my friends. i just take it as it comes. but with dating its a whole other story.

so yes. churn away good friends. churn away.

song for this post:

crazy by gnarls barkley. no explanation needed.