It's been a long month.
The man I thought I was to marry told me he wasn't in love with me about a month ago, and had known this for some time. We'll name him "The Republican;" they don't get much more republican than him. He came without the side of Jesus at least. I'm still caught between the "I should have known by the way he treated me" and "The way he treated me was part of who I thought he was - busy, married to the job." I'm leaning towards I should have known. I know what it's like to be loved, or at least loved the way I want -
Enter my other ex. Let's call him the Vet (as in Army veteran). I was going to go with "Ranger" but then I'd just think of those bounty hunter books. I met him through a friend while on a break with the Republican, and expected nothing but fun and perhaps a light fucking and fucking over. Except he's madly in love with me, even 9 months after we broke up. This man made contingency plans for how to take care of me in case my cat died, noticed that when I think I make a point, I purse my lips, then get up to get water. I guess I like to let people think about how awesome I am in my absence. The Vet wants to marry me, wants me to have his (second batch) of children. He has issues, of course, some from the wars, and he doesn't take care of himself - things that would need to be changed before (if) I could go back. No matter what, I want the time to myself, to churn, before anything happens.
I introduce these two men because I know that at least Vet isn't out of my life, and probably won't be. I have issues with that, booting people from my life, although I'm a-ok being Republican-free right now.
So I churn. As I said, speed dating is Sunday. And I signed up for Ok Cupid. I've already gotten an invitation to a threesome and some cut and paste prose, along with something called "winks". I haven't responded to a single one. I'm not sure how I feel about the online medium yet. I'm more looking forward to speed dating since I'll be able to find a rapport. I will see the Vet tomorrow. He's hosting a party at a club in Georgetown tomorrow. Belle is being kind enough to be my gorgeous date (heels!).
Did you know that a "unicorn" is
In swinger lingo, a single female (often bi) sought after by many couples. They are thought to be so rare that they have attained the status of mythical creatures? Me either. |
