anywho.
weeks go by. we kept chatting. got drinks with him again. nice guy, but not my type. im not going to say that im like a 10 or something (prolly more like a 7? ... well, depends on... i digress), but he's just not cute enough for me. not that he's ugly by any stretch. but he's attractive enough for a hookup and for fun, but not a real spark there if ya catch my drift.
but we gchat. he's witty. i'm witty when i try. he's fun to chat with. he wanted to hang out this week. i had a vigil to go to last night for the arizona law going in to effect, so i said he could come over for dinner and then we could do the vigil and then watch a movie. which we did.
i enjoy his company. its kind of a second grade, cut each other down but in a witty fun way relationship. we watched zombieland which was REALLY funny and i love emma stone which i cant WAIT for this movie to come out...again i digress. so its like 11pm. we're chatting. tv is off. its 1120.
me: (internal thought process: metro closes at like 11:40 or something) umm are you spending the night?
pink sock: sure
me: (internal thought process: dammit, that was more of a, why are you still here situation) ok, i need to take my contacts off lets go to bed
then we go to my room. i didnt take my clothes off. well, i mean i kept my cute armani briefs on. we cuddle, make out a little bit. then i tell him to turn over and cuddle cause im tired.
and i mean, our bodies just dont cuddle well together. he's one of those hipsters who can eat and drink to their hearts content, and still remains skinny as hell (aka people i hate). and i dont know. it just doesnt work. and when i would spoon him he'd put his arm down in a weird way that would make my hand fall asleep and id wake up in the middle of the night with dead hand. then id lay on my back in an effort to not cuddle, he'd put his head in between my arm and chest. it was just a night of trying to find the right way to cuddle. it didnt work.
all this by way of saying. he's a super nice guy. and i feel like i'm leading him on. but i genuinely enjoy his company. i think i might be making bad dating kharma by continuing this process that we seem to be in. because i keep avoiding hanging out with his friends because i dont want them to get the idea we are dating. and i dont know what to do to avoid that awkward sleepover mome.
like, how do you go from hooking up with someone and you can tell they are more interested in you but tell them it was just a hookup but you like their personality and just want to hang out...all without sounding like a tool and/or hurting their feelings? particularly when im sure i will run in to this kid at some point in the future out. i'm all about trying to not burn bridges and keep a wide social network all at the same time.
is that even something that's possible? i mean can you do that and be a normal person who might randomly hookup with people and see them again but still want to date people and find a relationship? or do you have to completely separate those two things in your life...like you can date to find a relationship or you can have fun and mess around and live in the moment...but you cant do both?
ugh. dating is hard barbie.
song: every day is a winding road - sheryl crow
trust me. this song is so accurate for my life. and for me and dating. period.
