Yeah... So That Didn't Happen... Twice

So That Didn't Happen #1

Bill and his girlfriend are still together. Living together.

--------------------

So That Didn't Happen #2

I don't think the Alejandro thing is going to happen. He basically told me to have a nice life.

He emailed:
I am going to NY at the end of this week and then China for 2 weeks. Too bad, it would have been nice knowing you...Good luck with everything. Take care!

I wrote:
Ditto. You too. Safe travels.

He replied:
Hey, looks that I am not going to NY after all! Let's do something on Sunday or Monday if you're available...

I wrote:
I don't get back to DC until really late Sunday night. But I'm taking the next day off so I can do an early lunch on Monday. I have to be somewhere at 2:15p but I'm free until then.

He didn't reply.

A possible Crush

So a friend asked me last weekend if I found Bill, a mutual friend, attractive. I responded quickly with the affirmative and he replied, "interesting" then said nothing. I looked at him inquisitvely and his husband said, "He thinks he's single and you guys could be good together." Interesting, indeed.

Bill has been in a relationship for ages and ages and recently relocated to be with his girlfriend. The debate was whether or not they were still together. Nobody wanted to ask so there was just speculation and patience until Bill felt comfortable disclosing.

I kind of forgot about it - the idea of Bill and me - until this morning, when my alarm went off at 5:00a and I procrastinated getting up by looking at Facebook. I checked my feed -- nothing interesting -- so I checked Bill's page, to see what he was up to, if he was listed as single, in a relationship, in DC, etc.

Now, I haven't thought about this guy in a while and I don't think I've ever thought of him romantically. Oh wait... who am I kidding? Yes, I have. I'm such a bad liar. I have thought of him that way because he's super nice and cute and good friends with some of my good friends, which means he must be super awesome.

So now I wait to see if:
1) He is single
2) He is in the area
3) He wants to even think about someone after getting out of a relationship
4) I'm not too mainstream/workaholic for him.

But I think I can say he is officially a crush. If he's single and anything happens, I'll let you know.

Encouragement for a Third Date

I was at work yesterday afternoon when I received three messages about this blog. One friend chat me at 3:38p and said he was catching up on the "trials and tribulations of Betti" and asked for real-life identities of certain people mentioned. I didn't give him names because, well, the fake anonymity is half the fun.

I then got a gchat from Dolly and a Facebook message from Tei both at 3:45p. (See below.) It appears nobody wants to work on a Friday afternoon. I'm no different, I was probably checking out Zappos at the time.

Dolly:
hi friend
go out w/ alejandro!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=niqrrmev4mA&ob=av3e

Tei:
Just got caught up on your churning blog (am now running ten minutes late for work). Please have a passionate love affair with Alejandro.

After chatting and Facebook messaging with my friends I decided I should email Alejandro and ask him out one more time. So I did. I asked if he was free on Sunday or Monday this week. He wrote back and asked if I was free at 5:00p. (Attempt at a bad joke: It appears we already have an issues with communication. Haha. Is that funny? I don't think so either...) I'm not sure which day he was refering to or if we'll find a time that works. But if we do I'll let you know.

Dude Has My Number

... figuratively anyway.

I went out with Alejandro on Monday night and was surprised by how much fun I had. He is funny and charming and thoughtful.

I mentioned on our first date that I really liked Greek food and only realized while I was ordering Shawarma that he had likely selected the Restaurant because I had mentioned it was one of my favorite types of food.

I immediately thought, "Crap. Could I fall for this guy?"

Why my initial thought involved the word, "crap" I'm not quite sure. Other than the fact that I've been hurt in the past and maybe my wall is higher and thicker than I thought.

So we're at dinner (yes, I broke my no dinner until the 4th date rule) and everything is perfectly lovely. The conversation is engaging. He is interesting and he seems to like me.

I say this because he told me that he enjoyed my company after I asked if he should be working and apologized if I was keeping him.

"You're not keeping me," he said, "I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to be." Hmmm. Line or authentic? It seemed authentic. He seems like a genuinely nice guy.

Holy Flying Spaghetti Monster, I'm jaded, huh?

So anyway, I had a great time. We were at the restaurant for a little over two hours. The conversation was nice, but I did find myself pretty consistently wishing it would end. I'm not sure if this is because I'm not into Alejandro or because I'm not actually ready to date or because his name isn't Max.

I have a feeling a lot of women would like to be wined and dined by Alejandro. He is attractive, European, probably sounds like a movie star when speaking Italian, is respectful, kind and thoughtful. I think he needs a woman who wants to be a woman of leisure. He told me he wants to retire at 45 and travel the world. I want to be a Presidential appointee and work forever. He travels to Manhattan two to three times a month. I go to fencing practice and hang out with my friends and dog. Maybe I am too simple for Alejandro. Maybe he is too exotic for me. I don't know...

We discussed our schedules for the following week. He asked when I was available. I told him I was free this weekend and he said weekends were the hardest for him. Dilema. (Betti Past: I used to date and live with a bartender, it is really hard to be in a relationship with someone when your work hours are reversed.)

After about two hours I asked him if he had a lot of work to do that night. (He had mentioned that he wasn't sleeping very much because of all of his projects. Then he ordered a double espresso because he had to work all night.) He said, "I get it. You want to go home. I'll pay the tab." OOPS. Yes, true. The dude totally called me out. He has my number. There is no bullshitting, which I am used to delivering but not receiving, if that makes any sense.

When we left he didn't try to hug me. (Thank you Flying Spaghetti Monster!) And he told me he wasn't going to ask for my number. He said he would like to see me again but if I wanted to see him I would have to contact him. He said there was no pressure but if people want to have enjoyment in their lives they need to make time for it. Doh! Again, he is on to me.

I have yet to write to Alejandro. I don't know what I want to do. I'm not sure if I'm attracted to him. I'm not sure if I'm interested in him. I definitely enjoy his company but I'm not sure what else, if anything, I would like to develop.

If I contact him and we go out again, I will let you know.

For the record: He paid.

Back to Reality

I have a date with Alejandro tonight. We planned this last Thursday. I wish I was as excited to see him as I would be to see Max. But Max isn't going to happen so I have to get back to the churn. And hopefully find a "Max" in DC. I'll let you all know how it goes.

Sometimes it isn't Meant to Be

I met, or should I say re-met, a dude from my past this past weekend at the Redskins game. It was my first NFL game ever and I was pretty excited to tailgate and do other football type things.

I was sitting, drinking a glass of wine and enjoying a cheese I can't pronounce (my football friends are fancy, huh?) when I saw this dude a few cars down who looked familiar. Ten seconds later I recognized him and remembered where I knew him from. It was Max, a friend of my sister's growing up.

He must have noticed and recognized me as well because we made eye contact and smiled.

Approximately eight minutes later, okay exactly eight minutes later - I'm a bit of a watch addict - I got a text message from my little sister saying, "Do you remember my friend Max Smithjones? From home? The one who moved to SF? He just texted to ask you were single. Want me to tell him you are?"

I replied, "He'll to the yes." which was supposed to be 'hell'. Damn Apple autocorrect.

Four minutes later Max approached me and said hi. We talked for a bit. He was cuter than I remember. Just as smart, he was always smart, but cuter, nicer, more engaging, etc. He was the epitome of the bee's knees.

After a while we went our separate ways to go into the game. We exchanged numbers and said we'd meet up after the game.

First time tailgating = major success!

We met up after the game and got dinner and drinks. Eventually we ditched our friends and got more drinks, then late night snacks. We talked and hung out until the day turned to night and the night turned to day. It was better than super, it was super duper.

Then he had to leave. He was only in town for the weekend and had a flight at 7:00a back to San Francisco.

Luckily today is Columbus Day and I didn't have to go to work, instead I could sleep, detox and revel in my bliss. I've had a shit-eating grin on my face all day. I feel that tingling feeling you get when you meet someone you really click with. You know that feeling? Like there's magic in the air and everything is electric and reminds you of that person?

Max is kind of awesome and I really dug hanging out with him. When we were chatting I felt that thing that I've been missing with every guy I've churned with this time around. Excitement, maybe attraction, I'm not sure how to describe it, it's just that thing. I want that thing.

There's something romantic about falling for the proverbial boy next door. That could have added to the magic of the evening. I don't know what was real and what was just unsustainable magic. But for a night the cracks of my lonely heart were filled and I was happy.

I know one night isn't a realistic barometer for what could be with another person. And I know that I likely got swept up in the whole thing because I knew it would only be for a night. I know me and Max aren't meant to be. We live separate lives on separate coasts. And I have roots here that aren't something I would want to pull up. I guess sometimes, it just isn't meant to be.

Best Worst Pickup Line Ever

I was out tonight with Belle. While she was in the bathroom a dude came up to me and started chatting. The conversation was typical bar chatter until he said the most ridiculous line I've ever heard that I had to write about.

He literally said to me, a white chick from New England with French Canadian and Welsch / Scottish / Irish ancestry, "Are you Iranian or Persian? Because you're so exotic and mysterious." Hahahaha! Hahaha! Hahahaha! I laughed out loud. And then I assured him that I would not be going home with him to which he responded, "Why are you so conservative? Are you a Republican?" Um, no. Haha. Ridiculous. Then he left.

I Have Two Balls

I had a drink with Alejandro last night. I was early so I decided to make a pit stop. I really didn't want to sit there for a long time and look like I was waiting for a first date, because, in my opinion, you can totally tell the people who are sitting waiting for a blind/first date. They look awkward and nervous, etc. I wanted to minimize that time. I stopped off to get breath treats for my dog. (Her breath stinks.) I realized too late I had now had a giant bag of stinky dog treats weighing down my purse and stinking up my first date. Crap.

So there I am with a stinky bag hanging on the back of my chair, still five minutes early. Waiting. Waiting. I fidget, then I look at the menu. Four times. I'm not used to being early. I tried not to play with my phone too much and not to look like a chick meeting a dude she met on craigslist who could be a European little person for a first date. He arrived ten minutes late saying parking was tough. I ordered a glass of white wine immediately.

I had emailed Alejandro before I left the office to let him know what I was wearing so we could find one another. He replied saying, "Cool... Look for the guy with the sombrero hat ( kidding )... I'll find you!" I literally LOLed when I read it so I was hoping there would be laughter on the date as well. There was.

Okay, so first impressions: dude is funny, attractive and smells odd yet intriguing. He sat down and was accompanied by a combined scent of smoky Patouli and black pepper. Totally unique. He was wearing a thick gold chain with a large gold cross. I know it is closed-minded of me but I am sometimes weirded out by dates who wear a bold religious icon on their person. I was not raised religious and honestly feel more comfortable around non-practicing peeps. It certainly isn't a deal breaker, but if someone is super religious we probably wouldn't be a match. (Side note: I always wished a little bit that I had been raised with religion so I could choose whether or not to accept it. Also, I would be stronger when religion categories came up on Jeopardy.) Anyway...

He apologized for being late. And we talked and we laughed. He grew up between Italy and Romania. He said he was tired and that when he's sleepy his English gets worse. Why was he tired? Glad you asked. His neighbor got a rooster. A pet rooster! Is that even legal? What would you do if your neighbor got a pet rooster who woke you up at 6:00a on the nose every morning?

He is a huge soccer fan. Not a big baseball fan. (At this point I spent about five solid minutes telling him of the awesomeness of my favorite team and their stadium.) He said he found baseball boring but he had a baseball glove at home. I replied by asking if he had a ball so he could play catch. He then said that he had two balls. Okay. So. It took all of my inner strength not to giggle inappropriately when he said he had two balls. I am a 13 year old. There was no impression that he said it to be creepy or funny, he just said it, "I have two balls." Maybe the ball jokes don't translate. I am literally chuckling as I write thinking about how he said it.  "I have two balls..." Haha... It's still funny...

We talked for about an hour. He was really entertaining. He told me he was pleasantly surprised that I was normal. He said that he had received a number of really inappropriate emails from women with suggestive language and photos. I wrote about "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia". It is finally occurring to me how naive I am when it comes to creepers on the interwebs.

I had told him when I arrived that I had prior plans with friends and could only stay for an hour. After the hour he asked if I had to go. I told him yes and he told me I didn't need to wait for him to finish paying the tab. I asked if he minded if I dug out and he assured me he didn't so I thanked him for my drink and left the restaurant. No awkward goodbye. Huzzah!

He told me he'd like to get together again. Did I like him? Yes. Did I laugh? Yes. Did I enjoy his company? Yes. Did I want to stick my tongue down his throat? Not even a little. Will I go out with him again if he asks? Sure, but mostly to meet the one data a week quota I've been having a hard time meeting. This one wasn't a love match, but he is a nice, attractive, funny guy who I kind of want to set up with a friend.

For the record: He paid.

Maybe He Thinks You Have a Lazy Eye

Alejandro replied so we're on like Donkey Kong. Drinks at 6:30p. He requested another picture (I still haven't sent a second one) where I'm not wearing sunglasses. So instead of wondering if I look like a centaur he's likely wondering if I'm a pirate. With an eye patch. And maybe a parrot. Or he's curious why my future's so bright I gotta wear shades.

I told Tyler about this photo request over gchat:

me: he asked for a pic that doesn't have me in sunglasses

Tyler: maybe he thinks you have a lazy eye

me: or a glass eye

Tyler: I got asked out by a guy with a lazy eye on the internet
and I asked him for a pic without sunglasses and his eye was all googly
and I obviously backed out because I'm superficial

I'll fill you all in on how the date with the mini European who doesn't want to date a lazy eyed centaur turns out.

Drinks in an Alley

Alejandro wrote back yesterday evening just before I left the office to tell me he could make drinks tonight (Tuesday). Awesome. His email contained several questions:

Tomorrow it's good too! This would give me more opportunities to find out more about you ;). The picture you sent me it's a pretty cool one but do you have another one..? Where do you like to go out? What's your weapon of choice when comes to having fun? How tall are you, what kind of dog you have( hopefully not too many questions )?

Alright, let's evaluate this email... Should I read into it? Probably not. Will I read into it anyway? Absolutely.

Tomorrow it's good too! This would give me more opportunities to find out more about you ;)
Exclamation point about drinks today. Awesome. Winky emoticon. Undecided.


The picture you sent me it's a pretty cool one but do you have another one..?
He wants to see another picture of me. Interesting. I initially sent him a cropped pic of me, from the waist up, that is my current Facebook profile. I'm wearing sunglasses but I got my hair 'did' that day so I like the photo. But I can see him wanting to see another one, maybe my bottom half is that of a horse like a centaur. (Is anyone else super excited to see the final Harry Potter movies? I am! Anyway...) So all in all, not too weird to request an additional photo when you're meeting a stranger (read: potential crazy person) from craigslist.

Where do you like to go out?
Seems normal enough. And since he works in the wine industry I assume he's interested in food, wine, dining, etc. Totally normal question.

What's your weapon of choice when comes to having fun?
I have no idea what this means and now I'm a bit freaked out. Betti, stop reading too much into this single paragraph email.

How tall are you?
He's a little person.


What kind of dog you have?
I love my dog and could talk about her all day plus I asked about his dog in the prior email. Normal.

All in all, I'm excited to meet Alejandro. I wrote back to his email, asked where and when he wanted to meet tonight and answered everything other than the weird weapon question. Hopefully he'll write back and suggest a familiar place. I told Kitty about the date and she said, "Make sure where you meet him for drinks isn't in an alley because you will get murdered. Go to well lit, busy restaurants."

When I read that I chuckled for two reasons. #1 All of my friends think finding a date on craigslist will result in me being murdered and when they mention this to me all I think is, "If I get murdered on a date with a dude from craigslist I should have bought that DVF dress I saw on Sunday." The thought is, in and of itself ridiculous and that is why I chuckle. #2 I don't go to dinner with people on a first date. I am like Braney Stinson. Dinner is too intimate for a first date in my opinion. Drinks or coffee. Then if you like eachother enough after a couple dates you can try dinner. But what do I know..? I'm single.

You're Going to get Murdered

I tried networking to get dates and that didn't work. I tried having friends set me up and that didn't work. I tried new activities and that didn't work. So I am back to the Internet. I emailed a dude from Craigslist this morning, to which one of my friends told me via gchat, "you're going to get murdered".

I told her I know people who have found success on Craigslist. And I stand by the hypothesis that it is better for my mental health than standard online dating.

Like I said, I emailed this dude this morning. His name is Alejandro. He is European and works in the wine industry. He is 33, has a dog and is established in the area. He is educated and seems interesting. He asked me out for a "drink and healthy conversation" this evening. I would totally go but I have plans with a friend right after work and then fencing practice. And I am actively trying not to ditch my own plans for a dude no matter how excited I get about him or the idea of him. (That was something I did in my 20s.)

Am I getting excited about a guy? I don't know. Jury is still out on that one.

I told him I was on a fencing team and had practice but asked if he was free tomorrow evening. If he's free maybe we'll meet up. And if we do I'll tell you about it.