Probably should have thought this one through

I had accepted a date with the Vet for this past Saturday. It was to be our first date...dip the toes in, see how things go etc. Having this first date be at a birthday party for one of his friends - probably not the best idea.

He picks me up a little late, because he had fallen asleep, and we cab to Georgetown. At the bar where he's a regular, we get some drinks and chat with his friends. There is a group meeting there before boarding a party bus to National Harbour. When his friends ask him to bartend while they go out back to smoke, I started thinking "Perhaps I should sneak out now." Ordinarily I would have, but trying to avoid drama and to push myself, I stayed on. His friends are mostly alcoholics with a penchant for drama (pot.kettle.black), so of course the night involved a fight between the bday girl and her boyfriend. Him drunkenly running off and the bday girl being carried out of the bar to the bus. I felt like a den mother.

The rest of the date ("date") went well. We went to a few other bars, danced, etc. The Vet was pretty drunk by this point and starting taking what I was saying and turning it into something weird. A fight ensues and he heads home.

Yesterday he realized what an ass he was being and has been groveling since. I'm not sure if the perks of his groveling are worth it. He plans on taking me on a real date Wednesday. I might as well give it a shot.

I also have a date with a guy I met online Tuesday. OH! I also went out of my comfort zone and messaged someone on a dating site. My first ever. I don't think he'll respond, but that's ok. He's just a Democrat version of my Republican ex anyways.


Who paid: him
Bonuses: 2 joints and a ride to work this morning

and we shall call it hot mess...

so i neglected to mention that i met a boy thursday night. he's cute. 25. in law school. and has a ridiculous body. so we shall call him 8-pack (cause he has an 8 pack without even trying...i swear i like carbs too much for that to ever happen)...and he's a really good kisser.

we'll ignore this except that i have a date with him this week. so continue on to friday...

meet up for a happy hour and all the churners in dc were in attendance. was quite fun to catch up in person and chat. helped put some things in perspective and think about what i want out of this whole experience.

later in the evening went to the dance party where i was supposed to chat with cato.

i had had a few drinks before arriving. and it was open bar when i arrived. so clearly i had two drinks in my hand (hey hey! i'm on a budget! gotta take advantage of these things while you can).

next thing i know, cato taps me on the shoulder. we chat for a hot second but avoid any real conversation. he goes back to his friends.

then i start dancing with friends. they have some drama they need to take care of. i might be a lil tipsy. i go downstairs to sit at bar and chat with other friend. as we're chatting, in walks mutual friend of hirshhorn who i met at concert on monday...we shall call him swede (he's swedish).

we chat. start flirting. next thing i know, we're dancing upstairs. and by dancing i mean dancing. like daaaaancing. might have made out with him for a lil bit on the dancefloor too. i dont know why i do these things (alcohol has nothing to do with it i swear).

oh but wait, who do i spot in the corner? pink sock.

yes. yes. this has officially turned in to a dating nightmare.

i'm drunk. making out with swede (a friend of hirshhorn). i'm in plain view of cato who i still may or may not have feelings for. and pink sock is staring me down from the corner.

this is definitely at least the fifth circle in the dante's the divine comedy. for. realz.

hell.

so what's a guy to do?

get another drink. obvi.

i dance some more. i simply avoid all goings on around me. pay attention to my friends and swede.

and then its 2am. so i go home with swede.

honestly. honestly.

i mean. maybe its not horrible because at least pink sock will now understand the picture that i dont want to date him, or at least am going to be dating other people. and cato? i mean do i want to date someone who's weird with dating? like does it ever turn out well for people who have to pull someone in to dating or wait for them to be ok with it? i mean i know i dont want to deal with that, i just like him. but that's not a good enough reason to try and wait it out for him and avoid other people.

aaaaand as for the whole swede being friends with hirshhorn. so hirshhorn still has yet to reply to my cute email from friday. and surprisingly im not freaking out about it. i mean, if he isnt going to respond to that, then clearly he's not the type i want to date. well, maybe not clearly, but i need more communication than this. i mean, maybe he's busy, maybe he has this going on or that going on, but still. i'm busy and i can make it happen, so should someone i date.

so while a hot mess, maybe it will all work out for the best?

and this churning week shall be an interesting one. i have late dinner and drinks with swede after bocce on tomorrow night. and then late drinks with 8pack wednesday.

both could not be more opposite. swede is swedish (obvi). red headed. beard. 32. works in IT for the gubment. likes dorky things like star galactic or something like that. then we have 8pack who has a ridiculous body. law school. young. latin. sweet and smart. its like both of these guys represent two distinct parts of my personality.

oh the competing interests. this shall be fun.

churn baby, churn!

song for this post:

just dance - lady gaga. cause thats what friday was like.

and we shall call him cato...

so was sort of dating this kid. we shall call him cato because we have inside jokes about the cato institute since their building is literally between our two apt complexes.

anywho, cato and i went out for maybe a month and a half. like 6 dates or so. things were going really well, but after a while i realized i was usually the one initiating everything.

and the conversations are good. he's witty. he's fun. but there wasnt an incredible spark. altho he is a really good kisser and fun to roll around with. but that's getting a lil too far in to this.

so yeah. i sorta let things die after many a talk with betti about this kid. decided i didnt think he wasnt interested in me, i just thought he wasnt interested in a relationship. which kinda makes me sad. cause i did genuinely like him and he's pretty much perfect for me on paper too. dont judge.

so anywho. we still gchat. we still facebook. so today, here's our gchat convo:

me: so...

(begin slighltly awkward convo)

cato: lol

me: clearly dating didn’t work out, but I did have fun hanging out, and you are kinda witty…so we should hang out again soon

cato: are you going to Raw tonight?

me: yeah...im gonna go with (mutual friend), we're gonna have dinner and i can hear about his great travels, ill become jealous, and then get a drink to woe my sorrows and dance with hipsters

cato: oh (mutual friend)

god we know the same people

me: well

we are both gay

and living in the same city

it happens

cato: ha, truth

well let's make sure to chat at Raw tonight and yes, I'd be up for hanging out

(I'm kind of weird about dating)

me: okies...ill make sure to avoid you for 30 minutes then accidentally bump in to you and be awkward

cato: lol

I'm awesome at being awkward though

this is what i hate about dating.

thought i was over him. had finally let it lie. but figured, hey, i should be grown up and be friends with him. he's fun. we live a few blocks away from each other. lets all be adults.

then he's like, im weird about dating we should definitely chat. now im all, what if does want to date? what if he just doesnt know if he can commit? blah blah blah CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY. literally. what. the. fuck. why cant i just date and take things like they come? why do i have to try and read in to things and get excited over the most minute possibilities?

i wish i could just go on dates, be happy they are fun, or have a good story if it goes bad, and go from there. why do i have to put soooo much behind every interaction? i dont do this with my friends. i barely even read in to anything with my friends. i just take it as it comes. but with dating its a whole other story.

so yes. churn away good friends. churn away.

song for this post:

crazy by gnarls barkley. no explanation needed.

hirshhorn part dos...

sorry been a lil neglect at posting.

so hungout with hirshhorn again. got in touch with him and invited him to watch a movie at a friends place.

wait.

that sounds awkward. let me explain.

my friend lives in his neighborhood. he has a projector. we watch movies in his backyard and he projects the movie on to the fence. and we sit outside, have some beers and watch movies like the goonies or red dawn or point break etc. its fun. so i figured he should join. let him get to know me better and know some of my friends to know i hang with good people.

he came. we had fun. had some beers. some good laughs. walk him home. HUG AGAIN. but still whatever. we were on 16th in mt pleasant.

anywho. see him again the next night at a concert at 930 club with the mutual friends we know. big hug. directs conversation at me. really good short conversation.

then i go to lunch this week with our mutual friend he's known for like 17 years. ya know. the one i met "online"...anywho.

having lunch. im like, 'so i have a crush on hirshhorn.'

online: 'yeah, he's a really good guy.'

topic of conversation changes. 5 minutes later.

me: 'so back to self interest time...'

online: 'what?'

me: 'yeah, so if i were to pursue hirshhorn, give me tips'

online: ::weird faces:: then talks about how the last guy he dated he never would have guessed they would have dated, it was odd, blah blah. 'but i could see the two of you together. he likes his down time. introverted. good guy'

me: ::thinks to self, wow, youve know him 17 years and this is ALL you are giving me?!:: 'ummm so is he the pursuer or the pursued?'

online: 'well hes an introvert so he likely wont make the first move'

which therein lies the problem. ive already made a first move. i wasnt rejected. but how do i make a second move without being too much? like wtf. so now i have to pursue, which i can do, i just dont know how to read people in dating usually until its too late.

so im sending him an email today to see if he wants to teach me world of warcraft techniques or he can show me how to make a hungarian dish of food or something else low key (those are all things he likes, im trying to bring this back to him...i hope thats the right strategy)...

so yeah. fingers crossed.

song for this post:

clarity - john mayer

It's Been so Long I Could Have Given Birth...

Well it’s been awhile…nine months to be exact...

I have to admit I let my churning slide last year when Betti stopped about the same time I met someone. Although the man I met didn’t turn into a traditional relationship, he has been the source of lots of excitement, frustration, emotions, and drama during the last nine months. Due in part to this new guy and traveling for work and the holidays, I wasn’t able to keep dating my DC men.

That’s not to say I haven’t gone on dates since November. I have, and am looking forward to full-blown churning again!

To kick things off for our first week, I went out with a man we shall call “the dentist” because, well…he is a dentist. Betti and I met him and his friends one night in March and they invited us to go to Atlanta with them the next weekend. It’s such a good thing that I work at a non-profit and don’t have a lot of extra cash or I would have bought a ticket right then and there. In the morning light the next day, we came to our senses and passed on the trip. However, I have continued to go out with him periodically and I actually have a great time.

This week we hit up U Street for drinks at Marvin and then to see one of my favorite bands at Jojo. It was fun. We met up with some of his friends--it’s sad to admit…but it really is fun being shown off and he was definitely parading me around to his friends. Ha! Well, I was wearing an amazing outfit and my new favorite heels.

I skipped speed dating this weekend with the ladies because I didn’t want to spring for the $30, and I’m glad I did since the Ambassador guy was there.

I’ve already lined up a date for this Sunday with a guy I met at my birthday party a few weeks ago so more to come…

For the record: he paid and drove me home

That's a...

Falls Church is a dealbreaker.*

I learn new things about myself every day!


*And yet dating a man with a picture of Reagan on his bedroom wall wasn't.

It's like being on hallucinogens

Hi Boys!
(This is not my friend.)

I have a friend who used to say, "hiii booyys!" and it always made me laugh. She mainly said this when we were in college, immature (as all 19 year olds should be) and obviously hilarious. But lately I've had her in my head. I see a dude and she's in my head saying, "Hi boys!" I was literally just crossing the street on the way to my office and this really attractive guy almost tripped and instead of saying, "Are you okay?" I stayed silent and stared at him because in my head I heard my friend saying , "hiii booyys!" Yeah, I am socially inept.

Being single and smack dab in the middle of the heart-healing process is like being on hallucinogens. I feel like my pupils must be bigger or something because suddenly there are some mighty attractive men in the capital city. Hi boys!