and we shall call him cato...

so was sort of dating this kid. we shall call him cato because we have inside jokes about the cato institute since their building is literally between our two apt complexes.

anywho, cato and i went out for maybe a month and a half. like 6 dates or so. things were going really well, but after a while i realized i was usually the one initiating everything.

and the conversations are good. he's witty. he's fun. but there wasnt an incredible spark. altho he is a really good kisser and fun to roll around with. but that's getting a lil too far in to this.

so yeah. i sorta let things die after many a talk with betti about this kid. decided i didnt think he wasnt interested in me, i just thought he wasnt interested in a relationship. which kinda makes me sad. cause i did genuinely like him and he's pretty much perfect for me on paper too. dont judge.

so anywho. we still gchat. we still facebook. so today, here's our gchat convo:

me: so...

(begin slighltly awkward convo)

cato: lol

me: clearly dating didn’t work out, but I did have fun hanging out, and you are kinda witty…so we should hang out again soon

cato: are you going to Raw tonight?

me: yeah...im gonna go with (mutual friend), we're gonna have dinner and i can hear about his great travels, ill become jealous, and then get a drink to woe my sorrows and dance with hipsters

cato: oh (mutual friend)

god we know the same people

me: well

we are both gay

and living in the same city

it happens

cato: ha, truth

well let's make sure to chat at Raw tonight and yes, I'd be up for hanging out

(I'm kind of weird about dating)

me: okies...ill make sure to avoid you for 30 minutes then accidentally bump in to you and be awkward

cato: lol

I'm awesome at being awkward though

this is what i hate about dating.

thought i was over him. had finally let it lie. but figured, hey, i should be grown up and be friends with him. he's fun. we live a few blocks away from each other. lets all be adults.

then he's like, im weird about dating we should definitely chat. now im all, what if does want to date? what if he just doesnt know if he can commit? blah blah blah CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY. literally. what. the. fuck. why cant i just date and take things like they come? why do i have to try and read in to things and get excited over the most minute possibilities?

i wish i could just go on dates, be happy they are fun, or have a good story if it goes bad, and go from there. why do i have to put soooo much behind every interaction? i dont do this with my friends. i barely even read in to anything with my friends. i just take it as it comes. but with dating its a whole other story.

so yes. churn away good friends. churn away.

song for this post:

crazy by gnarls barkley. no explanation needed.

hirshhorn part dos...

sorry been a lil neglect at posting.

so hungout with hirshhorn again. got in touch with him and invited him to watch a movie at a friends place.

wait.

that sounds awkward. let me explain.

my friend lives in his neighborhood. he has a projector. we watch movies in his backyard and he projects the movie on to the fence. and we sit outside, have some beers and watch movies like the goonies or red dawn or point break etc. its fun. so i figured he should join. let him get to know me better and know some of my friends to know i hang with good people.

he came. we had fun. had some beers. some good laughs. walk him home. HUG AGAIN. but still whatever. we were on 16th in mt pleasant.

anywho. see him again the next night at a concert at 930 club with the mutual friends we know. big hug. directs conversation at me. really good short conversation.

then i go to lunch this week with our mutual friend he's known for like 17 years. ya know. the one i met "online"...anywho.

having lunch. im like, 'so i have a crush on hirshhorn.'

online: 'yeah, he's a really good guy.'

topic of conversation changes. 5 minutes later.

me: 'so back to self interest time...'

online: 'what?'

me: 'yeah, so if i were to pursue hirshhorn, give me tips'

online: ::weird faces:: then talks about how the last guy he dated he never would have guessed they would have dated, it was odd, blah blah. 'but i could see the two of you together. he likes his down time. introverted. good guy'

me: ::thinks to self, wow, youve know him 17 years and this is ALL you are giving me?!:: 'ummm so is he the pursuer or the pursued?'

online: 'well hes an introvert so he likely wont make the first move'

which therein lies the problem. ive already made a first move. i wasnt rejected. but how do i make a second move without being too much? like wtf. so now i have to pursue, which i can do, i just dont know how to read people in dating usually until its too late.

so im sending him an email today to see if he wants to teach me world of warcraft techniques or he can show me how to make a hungarian dish of food or something else low key (those are all things he likes, im trying to bring this back to him...i hope thats the right strategy)...

so yeah. fingers crossed.

song for this post:

clarity - john mayer

It's Been so Long I Could Have Given Birth...

Well it’s been awhile…nine months to be exact...

I have to admit I let my churning slide last year when Betti stopped about the same time I met someone. Although the man I met didn’t turn into a traditional relationship, he has been the source of lots of excitement, frustration, emotions, and drama during the last nine months. Due in part to this new guy and traveling for work and the holidays, I wasn’t able to keep dating my DC men.

That’s not to say I haven’t gone on dates since November. I have, and am looking forward to full-blown churning again!

To kick things off for our first week, I went out with a man we shall call “the dentist” because, well…he is a dentist. Betti and I met him and his friends one night in March and they invited us to go to Atlanta with them the next weekend. It’s such a good thing that I work at a non-profit and don’t have a lot of extra cash or I would have bought a ticket right then and there. In the morning light the next day, we came to our senses and passed on the trip. However, I have continued to go out with him periodically and I actually have a great time.

This week we hit up U Street for drinks at Marvin and then to see one of my favorite bands at Jojo. It was fun. We met up with some of his friends--it’s sad to admit…but it really is fun being shown off and he was definitely parading me around to his friends. Ha! Well, I was wearing an amazing outfit and my new favorite heels.

I skipped speed dating this weekend with the ladies because I didn’t want to spring for the $30, and I’m glad I did since the Ambassador guy was there.

I’ve already lined up a date for this Sunday with a guy I met at my birthday party a few weeks ago so more to come…

For the record: he paid and drove me home

That's a...

Falls Church is a dealbreaker.*

I learn new things about myself every day!


*And yet dating a man with a picture of Reagan on his bedroom wall wasn't.

It's like being on hallucinogens

Hi Boys!
(This is not my friend.)

I have a friend who used to say, "hiii booyys!" and it always made me laugh. She mainly said this when we were in college, immature (as all 19 year olds should be) and obviously hilarious. But lately I've had her in my head. I see a dude and she's in my head saying, "Hi boys!" I was literally just crossing the street on the way to my office and this really attractive guy almost tripped and instead of saying, "Are you okay?" I stayed silent and stared at him because in my head I heard my friend saying , "hiii booyys!" Yeah, I am socially inept.

Being single and smack dab in the middle of the heart-healing process is like being on hallucinogens. I feel like my pupils must be bigger or something because suddenly there are some mighty attractive men in the capital city. Hi boys!

EAT PRAY CHURN

Hello Churnlings,

Tis I Papa Churn returned from a distant strange land (London) to encourage, berate, irritate and advise you churnlings. What experience do I have I hear ye yell? I was taught by the master of churn, my sister Madame Beef and am now well versed in the ancient art of dating.

Firstly the purpose of Churn has no specific purpose, it is what you make it but the fundamental strategy is to put you outside of your normal comfort zone. Is it hard? Yes. Does it take time and energy? Hells yeah. Finding true love is a hard process, but if it was easy it wouldn't be worth as much.

Firstly snaps to all of the our churners who have met the August 1st deadline with real vigor! Here are some mantras to help you along the way:

1. Be honest. Cheesy but true, don't play games and don't lead people on, be up front and clear from the beginning, you don't have to over share but if you're not interested in someone don't lead them on.
2. Treat others how you wanted to be treated. Simple but effective.
3. Keep an open mind. The likelihood is that you won't meet your true love jumping from a plane skydiving with a bunch of strangers but putting yourself in new situations helps to open your mind and encourages you to think about people you may have initially rejected.
4. Assume anything and you make an ASS out of U and ME. See what I did there? Don't assume that just because he's an accountant he'll be boring. Don't assume because he calls you straight after your date he loves you. Keep your horizon of expectation a nice flat spirit level.

Repeat these basic mantras churnlings and you will succeed!

Go forth and churn my pretties!

Speed dating in four minutes.

This isn't me. It's a pic on the first page of results when you
put "speed dating" into a Google image search.

I've used the blog recently to process through my feelings about my former relationship and while it's helping me it probably isn't very entertaining to read about. So here is an attempt to give you to lowdown on speed dating in four minutes.

How does it work?

• Essentially, in straight speed dating, all of the women sit in one place and the men rotate to each lady. You get four minutes to talk and see if there is spark. 
• There is no selecting who you want to spend time with. You talk to each person for the full time. Sometimes the four minutes flies by and other times it feels like you're getting stabbed in the eye with a needle for eternity. Okay, that may be a bit dramatic. Maybe it's more like having a mosquito buzz in your ear for four minutes. It's annoying but not painful and you're stoked when it goes away. 
• Everyone has a name tag with their name and a number. Like I would be Betti #123.
• You get a sheet of paper for notes and you write down the person's name, number, something memorable about them and whether or not you're interested in seeing them again.
• It is very difficult to take notes. You only have four minutes (which can actually fly by) and you have to write down who people are and whether or not you dig them. Which can be kind of awkward. What are you supposed to write, "Dbag, no thanks." Weird.

Who did I talk to?

• About 50% of the crowd were in IT or engineering.
• There was one guy who "moved to DC for a woman". He said it in response to every question. Eek. Sorry dude. They broke up eight months ago and he led with that. I think I'm further along in the healing process than that guy.
• A dude who asked who my celebrity crush was then practically jizzed in his pants talking about Selma Hayek.
• A guy who invited me for a midnight swim then asked if I would respond if he emailed me. He kind of gave me the ick but I didn't feel unsafe so I said yes. It's all about the churn.