The history of Churning can be traced back thousands of years to when Lindsay Lohan was just a cute little girl with freckles and Paula Abdul was unmedicated and dancing with the cartoon cat. There was once a lonely boy in a drizzly town called Coventry, England where there were no cute men, or women, or animals. Everything was dull and grey, so he up and left and travelled around the world to find true love and in the deepest, darkest corners of Australia (Sydney) he met an Australian. The Australian had known his sister and lived with her, so they went for cocktails. The Australian revealed a technique honed by his sister called...The Churn. The lonely boy was curious so the Australian promised to teach him all of the mystic art of Churning. "Confidence have you must," "Patient must you be" "Practice makes perfect" and "Love looked for not found" said the mystic Australian.
Soon the lonely boy was lonely no more, through confidence he had five dates a week, through patience he waded through the bad dates and eventually least when he expected it the not so lonely boy fell in love and was so good at dating he caught his true love's heart.
Go forth and Churn.
Papa Churn
