Belle and I went speed dating Friday night. The most memorable portion of the evening for me was this disastrously drunk girl who I will discuss at the end of this post because it has nothing to do with churning but was highly entertaining. Okay, so speed dating... I was more than pleasantly surprised how much I enjoyed myself. The 80 minutes flew by feeling more like 15. For those curious how it works: We had four minutes with each dude where they moved from woman to woman while us ladies stayed seated. It worked out evenly with 42 people - 21 men and 21 women, however, one dude bailed halfway through so I only spoke to 20, hence the 80 minutes.
The whole experience was strange while being a bit of a confidence booster. After we finished the speed dating session everyone mingled and we drank and chatted about nothing in particular. There were five men talking to Belle and me, which is not a common occurrence for me. It was intriguing and fun.
Of the men I chatted up I would be interested in seeing, well, none of them again but that's not what churning is about. After taking a second mental pass of the kind gentlemen I met I would actually go out with 18 of the 20. The two I wouldn't go out with: the close talker who immediately went into six, count them SIX, questions about my past relationships and whether I was attracted to men who favored their left or right brain. (He literally scared me.) The other guy I probably woudn't see again was the one who quoted bible verse to me. I'm pretty sure my non-baptized ass would give him cooties.
It's been three or so days since speed dating and I was not bombarded with messages from men dying to go out with me. It looks like the non-desire to go out again was pretty much mutual. There were two exceptions: one, a dude who I only referenced on my note sheet as "wearing a blue shirt"; and the other, two dudes who asked Belle and I out on a double date. We'll let you know what happens.
Okay, on to the disastrously drunk girl. So this girl was a mess. She wore a hot pink tube top and jeans and platform wedges that were surely going to be the catalyst for her head hitting the pavement around 1:00a if she made it that long. I'm going to call her "Bratop" because in her state the back of her shirt was falling down / folded over and that was literally stamped in huge letters on the inside of her shirt. She had the vague makings of a side ponytail, not because she was rocking a 'do like Tina Majorino but more like her head was crooked when she put her hair up.
So Belle and I are standing at the bar talking to this very nice dude and I notice that the festivities are about the begin because a woman is handing out sheets of paper and mini golf pencils. The first person she hands the sheet to is a tall dude in a Burberry shirt who was seated next to Bratop. Just as he is about to take the paper, Bratop raises her hand and slams it on the paper shoving it to the ground telling Burberry dude that he can't talk to anyone but her. (I think she missed the memo on speed dating.) The woman tries again with the same result. After three thwarted attempts she gives up and moves along. The show has ended so I turn away.
The next thing I know Bratop is standing next to us at the bar intent on monopolizing another dude. This time she takes his overpriced cocktail (why are drinks these kind of places always overpriced) and pours it on his shirt. Yes, she picked up another dude's drink and then basically threw it on him and the bar. Bizarre, yet dramatically entertaining. Unfortunately that was all the fun allowed because Bratop and her wing woman were escorted out by two dudes dressed in all black. (Thanks to Belle for letting me tell the Bratop story.)
