I had not just one, but two dates with mr. awkward laughter (MAL) last week. I realize that doubling down on dates with one guy is probably not in the spirit of churning, but he seemed very gung-ho, so I figured I'd go along with it. "Why not" has often been a mantra of mine, but it frequently gets me into sticky situations.
Needless to say, this was no different. We hit up a movie night in my neck of the woods- more of the hipster scene than the Nova he represents. It was actually really fun to spend some time with him, hold hands, drink beers, and laugh at some kitschy films. That said, I question whether it was that fun since it required NO talking on either of our ends. MAL is incredibly nice, and as I've mentioned before, seems very sweet. In a word: vanilla.
But, I don't really jive with sweet. I really wish that I did- it'd be great to settle for Vanilla, and it would probably make my life a lot easier. I'm more of a spicy chocolate girl- cinnamon and often cayenne. Someone I really respect once called me out on the fact that as a Latina, I could never be satisfied with a traditionally "nice guy". I need someone who can handle my ups and downs and isn't afraid to put me in check. While I wish I could say he was wrong, he most definitely wasn't (& isn't).
So where does that take things with MAL? I fretted a bit after our movie date and asked him if he wanted to hang out in a few days. He promptly responded with a "yes" and planned a night for us. The night before our follow up date, he shot over a text around 10:30 saying he wanted to see me. The warning bells sounded, and red flags danced before my eyes. From my perspective this could only be one of two things:
1) He was not so subtly pushing me into girlfriend-landia. (TOO SOON, TOO SOON!!)
2) He was trying to push physical intimacy. (Again, Too Soon!)
Either option made me worry and I opted to not respond to his text. I had intended to shoot him a note early the next day to cancel on our plans for that night, but he beat me to the punch letting me know that he had bought tickets for the night. I didn't want to be That jerk, so I plotted an exit strategy and decided I'd leverage my exhaustion and ask to go home after the event. Per usual, he was a true gentleman-- drove me home and offered to pick up medicine so I could get better from my cold.
He followed up with me a couple of days later and asked what was up with the weird vibe- I confessed to freaking about his late night texts and thinking he wanted more of a booty call situation. He responded immediately with a text about how wrong I was-- but it was just the out I needed to get out of something I just wasn't that excited about.
MAL got more than the number of dates required by churning- but it's left me wondering if I have any idea what I want or how to go about getting it. Maybe another date will solve my confusion?