I have a friend, his name is Tyler. And he's super. He's one of those friends that always makes you smile and cheers you up, makes you laugh and brightens your day. If you don't have a friend like Tyler, you should get one. Tyler and I recently discovered that we both think talking about farts and poop is funny.
Just tonight I saw Tyler at fencing practice. (Note: We aren't actually on a fencing team. We're on another kind of team but I've always wanted to pretend I fence, like George Costanza always wanted to be an architect.) Anyway, so we're at practice and I tell Tyler that I had ran there and had to fart during the whole run. As I was navigating the crowded sidewalks I was trying to figure out where I could drop a bomb or cropdust so as to relieve the pressure in my stomach but not fart in the face of a stranger.
I'm telling this story while getting my fencing equipment on and didn't realize that a new team member had come up to my side and I turn to face him as I say, "... I tried to not fart in all of their faces." He looks at me with these pretty brown eyes and a nice smile and says, "Hi. I'm Sam." I am not quite sure if I laughed or looked like someone pants me but I just said, "Hi. I'm Betti."
He turned and walked away and Tyler and I launched into a giggle fit and he said, "I think he's straight too." I'm not sure where he fits in the LGBTQIQ spectrum but he was wearing a really tight, electric blue fencing outfit. Regardless of his sexual orientation or whether he could be a future date for me, now all I can think is --
CRAP! I will forever be the fart girl!
