Monday, September 6, 2010

The Death of Summer=The Birth of New Relationships

Namaste my churnlings! Apologies for the prolonged absence, Papa Churn has returned and is on a high fibre diet so I promise to be more regular.

Right my sweet cherubs, Labor Day has arrived and this is prime dating season when everyone's Nicholas Sparks white washed esque romances have died like the asparagus at Giant and people are getting serious about relationships in order to hunker down when the cold weather draws in. We are all programmed like school children that this is the real beginning of the year, when people buy their school supplies, take stock and think; 'hmmm wouldn't it be nice to meet someone to kick the autumn leaves with?'. Take advantage and churn churn churn.

Well what progress we have made sweet chick-a-dees.

Betti-did not wise old man Papa predict you would burn out? You were like a puppy released into a lush green field, you ran around, got tired and are now refusing to get back in the car. Fear not young pup, I will rub your belly with sage nuggets of advice. Firstly to answer your plea for help. WHO SHOULD I DATE? Should you be dating trolls? No. Should you be dating people you are not the least attracted to? No. Should you not date someone because they snort when they laugh or have six fingers on one hand? The choice, my young liege is yours.

The act of churning is two fold; one to prepare you for dates you actually want to go on and two to put you out there so you may meet people outside of your comfort zone. Betti I cannot make this choice for you. You need to look within yourself young one and find the balance between people you think have the potential to be interesting past three dates and then people you clearly have no business dating because they are fifty year old men with mullets.

rick.mark.steve.
Big gold star for you. 8 pack sounds great and I think you would be insane to stop dating him. We do not all run at the same speed on the treadmill of life. Allow 8 pack to answer his own questions while grating the cheese for your dinner with his abs. As for the comment 'why is he dating me'. You need a big ass Alexis Colby bitch slap and to be thrown down a marble staircase. Get some self respect and some capital letters. For a man with three names you need to get some more confidence! Translation: your adorable and don't forget it!


Claudia, good job on juggling so many dates. It is not my place to pass judgement but; sex with a republican? Do share!

Kitty, welcome to the fold. Who are these terrible people hosting a singles BBQ? It's either genius, because everyones ideal is to meet someone through friends or hell on earth. It may be an awful process but with great benefits. Pray do tell!

Belle of the ball where ye be? Shacked up somewhere in a bed of sin. I'll keep my fingers crossed.

Roll on fall, the season of romantics!

Papa Churn