hirshhorn part dos...

sorry been a lil neglect at posting.

so hungout with hirshhorn again. got in touch with him and invited him to watch a movie at a friends place.

wait.

that sounds awkward. let me explain.

my friend lives in his neighborhood. he has a projector. we watch movies in his backyard and he projects the movie on to the fence. and we sit outside, have some beers and watch movies like the goonies or red dawn or point break etc. its fun. so i figured he should join. let him get to know me better and know some of my friends to know i hang with good people.

he came. we had fun. had some beers. some good laughs. walk him home. HUG AGAIN. but still whatever. we were on 16th in mt pleasant.

anywho. see him again the next night at a concert at 930 club with the mutual friends we know. big hug. directs conversation at me. really good short conversation.

then i go to lunch this week with our mutual friend he's known for like 17 years. ya know. the one i met "online"...anywho.

having lunch. im like, 'so i have a crush on hirshhorn.'

online: 'yeah, he's a really good guy.'

topic of conversation changes. 5 minutes later.

me: 'so back to self interest time...'

online: 'what?'

me: 'yeah, so if i were to pursue hirshhorn, give me tips'

online: ::weird faces:: then talks about how the last guy he dated he never would have guessed they would have dated, it was odd, blah blah. 'but i could see the two of you together. he likes his down time. introverted. good guy'

me: ::thinks to self, wow, youve know him 17 years and this is ALL you are giving me?!:: 'ummm so is he the pursuer or the pursued?'

online: 'well hes an introvert so he likely wont make the first move'

which therein lies the problem. ive already made a first move. i wasnt rejected. but how do i make a second move without being too much? like wtf. so now i have to pursue, which i can do, i just dont know how to read people in dating usually until its too late.

so im sending him an email today to see if he wants to teach me world of warcraft techniques or he can show me how to make a hungarian dish of food or something else low key (those are all things he likes, im trying to bring this back to him...i hope thats the right strategy)...

so yeah. fingers crossed.

song for this post:

clarity - john mayer

It's Been so Long I Could Have Given Birth...

Well it’s been awhile…nine months to be exact...

I have to admit I let my churning slide last year when Betti stopped about the same time I met someone. Although the man I met didn’t turn into a traditional relationship, he has been the source of lots of excitement, frustration, emotions, and drama during the last nine months. Due in part to this new guy and traveling for work and the holidays, I wasn’t able to keep dating my DC men.

That’s not to say I haven’t gone on dates since November. I have, and am looking forward to full-blown churning again!

To kick things off for our first week, I went out with a man we shall call “the dentist” because, well…he is a dentist. Betti and I met him and his friends one night in March and they invited us to go to Atlanta with them the next weekend. It’s such a good thing that I work at a non-profit and don’t have a lot of extra cash or I would have bought a ticket right then and there. In the morning light the next day, we came to our senses and passed on the trip. However, I have continued to go out with him periodically and I actually have a great time.

This week we hit up U Street for drinks at Marvin and then to see one of my favorite bands at Jojo. It was fun. We met up with some of his friends--it’s sad to admit…but it really is fun being shown off and he was definitely parading me around to his friends. Ha! Well, I was wearing an amazing outfit and my new favorite heels.

I skipped speed dating this weekend with the ladies because I didn’t want to spring for the $30, and I’m glad I did since the Ambassador guy was there.

I’ve already lined up a date for this Sunday with a guy I met at my birthday party a few weeks ago so more to come…

For the record: he paid and drove me home

That's a...

Falls Church is a dealbreaker.*

I learn new things about myself every day!


*And yet dating a man with a picture of Reagan on his bedroom wall wasn't.

It's like being on hallucinogens

Hi Boys!
(This is not my friend.)

I have a friend who used to say, "hiii booyys!" and it always made me laugh. She mainly said this when we were in college, immature (as all 19 year olds should be) and obviously hilarious. But lately I've had her in my head. I see a dude and she's in my head saying, "Hi boys!" I was literally just crossing the street on the way to my office and this really attractive guy almost tripped and instead of saying, "Are you okay?" I stayed silent and stared at him because in my head I heard my friend saying , "hiii booyys!" Yeah, I am socially inept.

Being single and smack dab in the middle of the heart-healing process is like being on hallucinogens. I feel like my pupils must be bigger or something because suddenly there are some mighty attractive men in the capital city. Hi boys!

EAT PRAY CHURN

Hello Churnlings,

Tis I Papa Churn returned from a distant strange land (London) to encourage, berate, irritate and advise you churnlings. What experience do I have I hear ye yell? I was taught by the master of churn, my sister Madame Beef and am now well versed in the ancient art of dating.

Firstly the purpose of Churn has no specific purpose, it is what you make it but the fundamental strategy is to put you outside of your normal comfort zone. Is it hard? Yes. Does it take time and energy? Hells yeah. Finding true love is a hard process, but if it was easy it wouldn't be worth as much.

Firstly snaps to all of the our churners who have met the August 1st deadline with real vigor! Here are some mantras to help you along the way:

1. Be honest. Cheesy but true, don't play games and don't lead people on, be up front and clear from the beginning, you don't have to over share but if you're not interested in someone don't lead them on.
2. Treat others how you wanted to be treated. Simple but effective.
3. Keep an open mind. The likelihood is that you won't meet your true love jumping from a plane skydiving with a bunch of strangers but putting yourself in new situations helps to open your mind and encourages you to think about people you may have initially rejected.
4. Assume anything and you make an ASS out of U and ME. See what I did there? Don't assume that just because he's an accountant he'll be boring. Don't assume because he calls you straight after your date he loves you. Keep your horizon of expectation a nice flat spirit level.

Repeat these basic mantras churnlings and you will succeed!

Go forth and churn my pretties!

Speed dating in four minutes.

This isn't me. It's a pic on the first page of results when you
put "speed dating" into a Google image search.

I've used the blog recently to process through my feelings about my former relationship and while it's helping me it probably isn't very entertaining to read about. So here is an attempt to give you to lowdown on speed dating in four minutes.

How does it work?

• Essentially, in straight speed dating, all of the women sit in one place and the men rotate to each lady. You get four minutes to talk and see if there is spark. 
• There is no selecting who you want to spend time with. You talk to each person for the full time. Sometimes the four minutes flies by and other times it feels like you're getting stabbed in the eye with a needle for eternity. Okay, that may be a bit dramatic. Maybe it's more like having a mosquito buzz in your ear for four minutes. It's annoying but not painful and you're stoked when it goes away. 
• Everyone has a name tag with their name and a number. Like I would be Betti #123.
• You get a sheet of paper for notes and you write down the person's name, number, something memorable about them and whether or not you're interested in seeing them again.
• It is very difficult to take notes. You only have four minutes (which can actually fly by) and you have to write down who people are and whether or not you dig them. Which can be kind of awkward. What are you supposed to write, "Dbag, no thanks." Weird.

Who did I talk to?

• About 50% of the crowd were in IT or engineering.
• There was one guy who "moved to DC for a woman". He said it in response to every question. Eek. Sorry dude. They broke up eight months ago and he led with that. I think I'm further along in the healing process than that guy.
• A dude who asked who my celebrity crush was then practically jizzed in his pants talking about Selma Hayek.
• A guy who invited me for a midnight swim then asked if I would respond if he emailed me. He kind of gave me the ick but I didn't feel unsafe so I said yes. It's all about the churn.

A new leaf. And popping.

I went to speed dating tonight. It was a bit of an emotional roller coaster but all in all it was amazing! I am a new woman. I am revitalized. I feel good. I am excited. I'm not only ready to meet the love of my life but ready to have fun dating and meeting new people while I look for him.

When I first arrived at speed dating is was B-U-M-bummed. Claudia got sick and couldn't make it so I had to fly solo. I was dreading it. Worrying if I was going to make eye contact with anyone and wishing I could go home before it began. If I hadn't paid $30 up front I probably would have spent the night on my couch in my Target brand cheerleader shorts eating ice cream and watching Shark Week. But I paid the money so I went.

The first person I saw was the dude who Belle met last time we went speed dating. He was there. Again. And I couldn't judge because I was a repeat offender as well. I overheard him on the street talking about someone having shingles (ew?), took a deep breath, went inside and got a Magic Hat #9. (If you're wondering, no - he didn't recognize me. We had a four-minute mini date later in the evening and he didn't remember that a) we had a four-minute mini date last year or b) we sat across a table from each other for several hours on a double date one night last fall while he tried to woo Belle.)

As the dating started I was asked the same questions over and over again -- Where are you from? What do you do? How long have you been in DC? What do you do in your free time? Blah. Blah Blah. But then, it happened. This guy sat down. And he was different, in a cool way. He had purple hair and leather around his wrists. And I don't know how it came up but I told him that I was afraid to dance.

Side note: I am Brandon Walsh. I don't dance. When I'm sober. I've been known to cut a rug if I've had 37 too many but in general I don't dance. I don't like it because I stink. I'm horrible. Terribly intimidated and afraid of looking stupid. But I decided a couple weeks ago that this is the year I learn to like to dance. Not sure if that made sense so I'll type it again: learn to like to dance. I've been looking for dance classes.

Turns out this purple haired edgy dude is a dance teacher! I got so excited. And it wasn't fake it 'til you make it excitement but actual excitement. Huzzah! I immediately felt a change. My pulse quickened. My smile was genuine. And my eyes no longer felt sad.

I'm turning over a new leaf.
Ha! Get it? Do you see it?
It's a "new" leaf.

As a result I'm making some changes. I'm going to look at churning with a new perspective. I'm turning over a new leaf and I'm going to do the following things:

1. Delete my online dating profile. (I'll explain why I don't think online dating is for me soon.)
2. Sign up for a dance class. I will learn to like to dance! I'm either going to try popping or hip hop. Either way, this white girl whose hips only go in a rectangle is going to bust-a-move!
3. I am going to do new things - sign up for events and activities. If I am going to spend time online it's going to be to find a field trip destination with real-life people, not talking to a 31 year old dude that may actually be 900 years old with a shrunken head like in Beetlejuice.
4. Try to have fun. I am sure that this is a temporary high. I will likely be sad again soon. I anticipate this (healing process) will continue to be a series of ups and downs. But I am going to strive to have new, exciting experiences and remember that dating is just meeting new people. And I like meeting people.

I was talking with an acquaintance (and new friend - yay - I love new friends) this morning about dating and breakups and all the things that go wrong. (It's funny, when people find out you just got out of a relationship they like to talk about their dating woes.) Her advice was to do things you like so you have fun and find people who have similar interests and actually like to *do* what you like.

For example, reading that someone likes to climb trees on their online profile is very different than meeting someone while you're climbing a tree. (Note: I haven't climbed a tree in years. I will add this to the list.)

This plan is genius is in its simplicity. I'm going to *do* things that I like and try new things to see what else I find fun. And I'm going to start with a popping class. It's going to be epic. And maybe, just maybe, I'll get an email from the purple haired dance instructor.

This is the song that accompanies this entry. It's about heartbreak but I think it's fun. And I am determined to find the fun from my heartbreak. Taio Cruz - Break Your Heart ft. Ludacris

Also, this is Bryan Gaynor popping on So You Think You Can Dance, in case you're wondering what it is. Obviously I will look like a giant asshole or maybe a giant goofball. Either way, I've decided to embrace it.  Then after I teach myelf to like dancing, I'm going to work on hugs. Papa Churn would be so proud.